The Clown Car Cavalcade of Comedy

(That isn’t even funny, sadly…)

I fear the end of the USA is at hand. Because a bungling ass-clown has just claimed he has “absolute power” to rule the States. 

And look – you can check with Wifey who’ll bear me out – I said just a few days earlier that Trump was looking decidedly like he’d bottomed out on the Peter Principle about two days after first stepping into the office but it had finally sunk in with the American populace that he needs to be stopped.

I said that my bet was that he’d declare a state of emergency over the pandemic and use that to delay elections. Well, I was close. Wasn’t I? He fired that first shot in the presser yesterday (that should give you a time lock on this article) and I am betting he’ll keep hammering at it until someone either assassinates him or he gets his pudgy childish way because people cbf to argue any more.

Either way, his inaction in the initial phases of the pandemic (I mean – our Australian Prime Moron was notified in December of 2019 – and also ignored it – so Donderhead would have had some briefing on it back then too) has cost the USA dearly in terms of that geometric progression. 

They may become the first country to be wiped out by a microscopic chip of materials that isn’t even technically alive. Yes the UK has a lot of infections and the death rate is soaring but the people there are now working to flatten the curve and staying in self-iso and lockdown. The States on the other hand are still not even entirely convinced it isn’t a Chinese stock market manipulation thanks to that orange shit-stain. 

By the time they rein it in it may be too late to stop the asymptote rise. For the sake of Mr Trump, that’s when the rate of infections increases exponentially to the point where there’s suddenly a vertical line singularity. Which is generally followed by a flatline. 

We started off badly here in Australia – thanks to the Pentecostal miracle-whistling poster boy for kakistocracy wannabe nonsecular christian right hand of god minister of the country and then the whole world, I dunno what he thinks in that fervid brain of his. 

His directions were delivered without logic, without reasoning, without empathy, and generally in an aggravated tone like why did we need help from Scotty From Marketing when God was so all-powerful and accessible? and it nearly undid us, as did the Border Farce and Federal Po-po royally fucking up with the Ruby Princess crusie liner and letting several hundred infected people just wander around sharing the bounty and spreading thousands of infections that then begat secondary infections galore. 

Because his ‘rules’ seemed so – arbitrary and illogical – that most Aussies just shook their heads and got set to ignore him. Much like Donzogonzo, actually. Because he seemed so dead set on saving the economy because who’d miss a few thousand older people? – Come on! How good is geriatricide? And his weeping and gnashing of teeth at the thought of having to actually *give money back* to people, because of those things most people thought “you know what, Scummo? Fuck you!” and went to beaches in protest, mingled on the streets in protest at a government that lost the popular approval almost six years ago.

When he finally (grudgingly) put his foot down so that landlords couldn’t evict people who had no income because the government had closed their workplaces down as not ‘essential,’ people began to realise that it had to be serious for that to happen. So he berated landlords for not wanting to default on their mortgages and wanted to maintain an income, but one group he was and still is loath to put his foot down with are – yep, the banks. Because that, in Scotty From Marketing’s little world, meant disaster. Not this namby-pamby whining about some flu that was a bit worse than a normal flu…

Cruise companies and airlines? Not a cent spent not a fuck given. Their passenger are left to rot on the ships and at their last ports of call, and the companies all just sort of hesitated until the government picked up the slack, and now they want bailout money as well. And look like getting it. Because in Scotty From Marketing’s mind, they deserve to stay afloat after their heroic actions in clinging to the money and ditching their passengers. 

Anyway – back to the orange shitgibbon to close this on the same as the opening. His performance should net him a lynching at the very least, but because the American people have become inured to the corrupt inept and cruel nature of a neoliberal government, it’s touch and go whether he retains presidency or gets run out of town on a tar and feather rail.

And I said he’d pull every stop to win the next election, and he’s going close to the trajectory so far. I think the most telling signs were that he ranted and railed so against a postal vote because that’s one election result he can’t rig. He knows that the election will not be able to be held live and in public (where the mechanisms are easier to manipulate) because of SARS-cov-2, and so I predict that his next ploy will be to appoint himself Supremo Of The United States and declare an emergency that will make voting impossible for another few years.

He’s going to do a Xi Jinping but without even that much honour. Change my mind.

Oh and I forgot the main thrust of the first paragraph – what’s left of the USA will be pretty pitiful. It wouldn’t even need a war to conquer what I can see will be left, just a relief effort. Xi Jinping could walk into and own the country as long as he brought a supply of remdesivir with him. Change my mind about THAT…